I, hypocrite.

I know I've said before that I'm not really one for labels and titles, but one cannot express the sort of conflict I feel with abstract descriptions of behavior, so I'll just say it outright-

It's hard to be comfortable with yourself when you're a Hybristophile Feminist who knows the s**t she's getting into, and just doesn't give a damn (and yet I'm always screaming at the poor victims of horror movies to act a little smarter...)
I may as well be the embodiment of hypocrisy.

On another note...

Dementia's GONE.

as in, poof.

vanished.

I have raked (good lord that was a poor choice of verb) up every inch of my brain and come up empty-

HEY. I'm still here!

... sorry, Minerva.

and while K reports that Dementia had dropped in for a while (possibly to terrorize Satan... though whether it be in violence or just nagging him to f**k her, I'm left in the dark about) but then she skipped out of that body too.

Oh, and Lucius' last name.
It's D'Angelo.

is my life turning into some sort of cheep Horror/romance novel?

Uh Oh

Satan's old buddy. remember him? the one who killed him?

Turns out he just transferred to my school.

And he's in one of K's classes!

To add insult to injury, it appears that he's started to hit on K (Who, if any of you need a refresher, Satan is currently inhabiting.)

If things turn out the way I foresee, I may need to become a meat shield within the next few weeks. Because once he finds out his old friend isn't technically dead, he may decide he wants to finish the job.

And I'm really attached to K.

WhatdoIdoWhatDoIDOWHATDOITDO

HELP

GET CONTROL OF YOURSELF!

I second that! You're worse than me!

 ...That really is bad.

ButstillwhatdoIdoIdon'tknowwhattodo!!!!!

SHUT UP AND GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF.

calm down and rethink your priorities- like, for example, this--

was it really wise to get attached to someone with MPD which just happened to actually be her being possessed by a bunch or people who were already DEAD? 

No... 

Case closed. You must get over your infatuation and see the bigger picture.

But I... I can't...

What sort of logic is preventing you from cutting ties with this woman?

Minerva, You're not Spock. I'm not Spock. This isn't just logic- this is emotion, something I've been trying and failing to suppress in favor of logic and just gave up on ever succeeding. And now I have a reason to hold onto those emotions... but it might be taken away from me in one fell swoop.

I... can't do this. I'm sorry guys, but this is everything for today.
I'll post the fragment of my story tomorrow. I Promise.

SO I'm thinking about doing something idiotic...

Just a question-

If I posted a fragment from a Fear Mythos/Creepypasta (crossover?) story I'm working on, would anybody be willing to read it, or comment on it?

It's based around the (mis)adventures of Rosa, an orphan who just happens to be one of Slenderman's three Elite Proxies (The other two being, of course, Masky and Hoody. It's practically a given.). She's given a set of abilities that far surpass the other Proxies, gets privileges (Such as, but not limited to, mouthing off at her boss) and is an overall very strong character in a world where such people are generally the Fears themselves.
and then it all goes to hell.
She goes down with it, make no mistake. She loses her statues as a Proxy and all of the benefits that came with it; she loses bits of her sanity as time goes on, due to the fact that the world around her is complete and utter Chaos; and while she manages to weather the storm for a while with the aid of a certain soft-hearted Creepypasta and a certain Jerkass Creepypasta who's often seen by his fans as a Draco in Leather Pants, she eventually loses their support too. 
For those of you who don't believe me when I say that Jeff the Killer's a Draco in Leather Pants-

From this link.

I don't think my point could be any stronger.
The first chapter is currently under the scrutiny and editorial pen of K (who I would trust with writing my will if it came to it).
(It'll probably come to that.)
 And the sweet one's Eyeless Jack. personally, I've always seen him as sort of kind (relatively speaking) considering this- he could have killed his victims and had at all of their organs, including the ones they would have needed in life- heart, lungs, liver, uterus (mention that because, unless it's a surgery performed by a very skilled surgeon, most removals of the uterus end in death of the patient due to internal bleeding and trauma to the organs around it ((it's nestled snugly between the intestines and the bladder, two organs you really don't want to damage)). It's no wonder Jack the Ripper killed his victims before taking theirs.), and, most importantly, the brain. Instead, he opts to take one of their kidneys, while they're asleep, and leave no trace except a neat row of stitches. following this headcannon, the one guy who allegedly did die from EJ woke up in the middle of surgery, freaked out, and moved around while that very sharp scalpel was still inside of him.
moron.
EJ (that's his name from now on, get over it) defines himself as neutral in the war between the Fears and the Creepypastas over our universe (which is gushing with victims and entropy, which both the Fears and the Creepypastas need to survive). Jeff's Zalgo's lieutenant- against his will, since he's the most widely known of the Creepypastas (as far as I can tell, at least...) and has an easier time spreading fear and chaos than most of the other Creepypastas (and that chaos isn't always derived from fear, either. his mobile harem seems to cause it wherever they go, too.)

That's the gidst of it. I'm trying not to spoil much, but I'll tell you this, and let you make of it what you will-
Rosa is most definitely not a Mary Sue.
 the universe I have placed her in does not bend to her will.
she is not worshiped by the other characters.
she is no more capable as a Proxy than her fellow Elites.
She is, in fact, very weak and vulnerable when she loses her Proxy status, and because of this she subsequently heavily relies in EJ and Jeff to protect her and help her when she's in a tight scrap- and Jeff only complies because Zalgo told him that he could keep Rosa as his immortal pet and torture victim if she dies of natural causes. EJ does it because he genuinely likes Rosa as a little sister.
She suffers from things like starvation, dehydration, and PTSD during her tenure as a regular person in a world that has been completely been overrun by the entities she used to serve and the ones she used to fight with every fiber of her being. at the end of it all, she's exhausted, alone, and perfectly willing to die without regretting it.
She doesn't have a mysterious source of income- she works as a prostitute and an information broker in the daytime, and often loots her victims when working as a Proxy. College? She earned a substantial scholarship to the local community college for her excellence in athletics, particularly Martial Arts and Track and Field, as well as her (hard earned) excellent grades. between studying for College, her jobs as a prostitute and an information broker, and her Proxy work at night, she's often suffering from sleep deprivation.
Oh, and the director of the orphanage she's staying at (it's set in the future where orphans can't leave the orphanage without being adopted, fostered, or with the expressed permission of the director) likes having his way with her every once in a while, which only adds to her list of problems. as well as the usual consequences- she often has to drop a pay-per-session class at college to pay for an abortion, or treatment (or cure, it's set in the future after all) for yet another STD that he's transmitted to her that could get her fired from her job as a prostitute (which is often the source of the STDs, too).

because of all of this, Rosa's very cynical, sarcastic, and serious all of the time- unless she's trying to screw with someone for information that she can then either report to Slenderman or sell on the black market. Pragmatism is practically her lifestyle- whereas other teenagers her age (she's nineteen) have all sorts of high-tech, updated gadgets with the latest features, the only electronics she has are an old radio that hasn't stopped working in the entire time it's been in her possession (which is her only reason for replacing anything) and a laptop that was made in the 2000s (the story is set circa 2050, so expect a few new technologies to crop up once in a while) that's chipped around the corners and sometimes displays the Blue Screen Of Death. (She 'persuades' the robotics professor at the college to fix it when it does that.) She has no phone, no video game platforms, no car, no motorcycle (although she's taught herself through observation how to hotwire and operate one), and no television set. She doesn't put much faith into the vague hope that someone will come and rescue her when things get bad, mostly due to the fact that no one ever does.
She has no social life, due to the fact that she perpetually views the people around her as sheep being herded by the various cruel shepherds that are the Fears and Creepypastas. because of this, she's shunned by the people around her- and even, at times, bullied by her fellow college kids who are both jealous of her grades (despite her background), and disturbed by her 'freakish' behavior.

So yeah, that's Rosa. Definitely far from the Mary Sue territory. I tried as hard as I could with her on this issue. If you have any suggestions, do advise. if it's flames, I'm going to go get the fire extinguisher.

She's not kidding about that. 

... So that's where you've been.

Sorry, I got bored of just listening to Minerva drone on and on and on about how Lucius is bad news, I shouldn't be drooling over a guy with no body, blah blahblah blahblah....

Right. And I'm a fairy princess. what's your real reason for assimilating here, and blocking my attempts to delete your text?

I'm bored as FUCK, what more do you want from me?

I'm sorry, this post is going to have to end here.

Mirror Mirror

I'm hoping to keep this brief, even though it won't be. Probably.

Don't even bother, Mother. We're not going anywhere fast.

Shut up Minerva. I'm trying, alright? Trying.

Lucius is... unusually nice. To me, at least. everyone else is getting the butt end of his jackassery. I wonder if the affection stems from something more than just my similarity to his late girlfriend... He has often referred to me as 'adorable' and 'cute', especially during my moments of joking around.

I'm a surprisingly effective comedian, if I can get a serial killer to laugh at my black humor.

Of course, my guard has not been lowered. I still operate under the understanding that once I am no longer a source of amusement, he will dispose of me as a child disposes of a broken toy. Except, in a much more violent fashion- namely, killing me. Therefore, I must keep myself amusing for him, which honestly shouldn't be a problem. My wit and sarcasm have gotten me into trouble before- now they may possibly provide a means of preserving my life.

I haven't mentioned my hunt for Lucius' cohort in a while, mostly because there's nothing to report. He seems to have gone underground- there have been next to no new reports of missing girls falling into the late teens category in the ******* area, which probably means either that A) they have yet to be reported to the police, or B) the killings have stopped. permanently.

I really hope it's B. As fascinating as this hunt is, I really don't want to become a victim of my own curiosity.

You already are one, Mother.

Do shut up, Minerva. I'm not in the mood for your sarcasm.

K has informed me of a few changes in our interpretation of Lucius' past. notably, his reason for killing his first girlfriend- it wasn't because she was pregnant that she was leaving him, it was that fact that she found out he was murdering people behind her back.

Seems to me that Lucius had always had a penchant for killing. Also, he insists that killing her was unintentional- he simply freaked out. He didn't want to be alone- and her leaving him would have left him very much alone.
So the crying... was supposedly genuine.

I honestly cannot believe a word that comes out of this man's mouth. He's attempting a Bundy Gambit- generate sympathy, then strike when the walls are down.
I've seen this happen to too many victims for it to affect me.

You're lying, mom. It's definitely affecting you. You're falling for him!

You're the one falling for him, Dementia. not me. whatever affection I hold for him is simply your twisted feelings bleeding over into my own psyche. Nothing more.

I've recently found a Fear Blog that has several excellent theories. You will need to read the entire thing starting from the beginning in order to actually understand what is going on though- Here's the address to the first page. Good luck surviving the first few information dumps, but otherwise, it's an engaging and rather delightful story.

Results

Turns out I didn't even need to perform the experiment with S. All I had to do was ask.

Funny the way things turn out when you just ask, isn't it?

Shut up, Dementia.

Ghosts DO need to inhabit a subject that is emitting an EMF field. inanimate objects (other than electronics, of course) do not qualify for inhabitable bodies. as it is, I wonder what would happen if a Ghost attempted to possess an inanimate object... a doll, perhaps?
we've heard of haunted dolls. Malevolent Ghosts like these forms. but how do they possess a doll? is it just force of will? or is something else involved?

I mentioned earlier that there must be Demons. are these the Ghosts of Murderers, Serial Killers, Rapists, and other foul folk who just didn't want to stop even though they were dead? they take malevolence in the afterlife to the extreme. and from what I've observed of Satan, they don't seem to follow the rules I've laid out for Souls.

1) Satan didn't need to go through S's filter in order to find a new home in K. he just smashed right through and took over.
therefore, Demons seem to possess a greater amount of willpower than average Souls. Can being evil really make one that strong?
of course, evil is being used here as a relative term. really there is no such thing as good and evil- only those who follow a set standard of morals and those who don't. that doesn't make them evil, it makes them chaotic, uncontrolled, non-conforming to the whims of society and the expectations it has placed on their shoulders. they're, for all intents and purposes, rebels, even if they don't mean to be.
okay, self serving rebels would be more accurate, but you get the picture.

next...

2) Satan comes and goes as he pleases. while the other Souls who inhabit K only seem to surface whenever she's asleep or when she lets them, he can control her for an entire day, just on a whim. it doesn't matter what K wants, it doesn't matter what S wants, if Satan wants to dick around with her body and wreak havoc, he'll do it.

oh, and it seems he's taken a liking to me, because I remind him of his first girlfriend.

He doesn't like me though. weird. I certainly like him though... YUM.

Oh God, Dementia. Don't show me that!


Er...

Where was I... oh yes, on to my third observation.

3) Satan seems to retain all of his memories. in addition to this, he also doesn't seem to be bound permanently to K's psyche. while I haven't witnessed this myself, he often implies that he could quite easily leave her and just inhabit me instead.

Which would be quite... unusual.

Let him do it. please?

NO. I refuse to indulge in your sick fantasies, Dementia. now go away.

for those of you who are wondering, Dementia is actually... well, a sort of seed in my head that sprouted and took root. she was never actually a Soul.

Thank you for your consideration, Pandora. truly, I'm warmed by your appreciation of just what your genius has created. 

... 

... I wish I had my body back...

Oh do shut up. Pandora's trying to stay on topic here!

guys...

Oh, green's Minerva. yet another one, I know.

I just hope Belinda doesn't decide to take a little more control. That would be disastrous.

We Post This Together

(Note: Red is Dementia, Blue is me, purple is the both of us. I felt like posting a poem. we worked on it together, even though Dementia isn't a very poetic soul.)
With all that I've seen and all that I've done
My timelines are merging, becoming one.
I'm scared, I'm drowning, I can't even see
What's become her and what's still me.
This war, it seems, cannot be won.

Fantasy, reality, melt into confusion
all swirling together as part of my delusion.
I reach for the dark because the light makes me cry,
for it wrapped me in its wings and shaded my eyes-
Though not a friend; I continue in seclusion. 

I've dug too deep, I've gone too far,
We don't even know who we are!
We're rooted in hate under a food chain
that starts with misery and ends in pain,
giving survivors tell-tale scars. 

In the dark, all cats are grey-
Predators melt in the crowd of prey.
now you see me, now I don't-
sink or swim, I'd rather float-
at least I'd live another day.

 One kills with a glance.
One kills given the chance. 
One haunts you,
another flaunts you.
In the game, it's more a dance.  

Are you going to run? are you going to hide?
fueled by your stupid human pride?
We are but pawns displayed on the board
pulled around with the tug of a cord,
Controlled in both body and mind. 

Creepypasta/ Fear theory

I've read quite a few blogs, and done a bit of side research in my spare time on the topic of physics and Creepypastas. I've come up with my own, semi-complicated theory to explain their 'power'. I give you permission to use it (I encourage you to use it as long as you credit me with the theory, and send me a link to your story, which I might be then in the mood to edit so you can understand the theory better).

The Theory

basically, The Fears and the Creepypastas both have their separate universes. some of the Fears are so influential on the cosmic scale that they've created their own dimension- Slendy has the Path, the Convocation the Bleak Shore, just to name the two I can think of off the top of my head (and then there's the City, which is in and of itself a completely different universe). These dimensions 'bumped' into ours, and fused in some areas. remember this- I'm not in my College's offered physics class, so bear with me here. I'm taking a little artistic license here.

No S**t. 

Shut up Dementia. let me work.
These Universes have become stuck to ours, in a sense, and their denizens are fueled by our Chaos. our entropy levels, if you will, make them stronger. Say, Slendy decides that he's going to burn down a neighborhood. a few Runners and/or people who knew what he was lived in that neighborhood when it burned down, and so to add insult to injury, he would have his proxies spray paint the operator symbol all over the place. just to drive home the fact that it was Him who did it, not some freak accident. not only would panic, chaos, death, destruction, and overall mayhem ensue, but the Runners/ Knowledge sponges would, in a way, spread the word that He had been behind it. which would spread belief of him and strengthen him through the Tulpa effect as well as through the Chaos. Fun.

for another example, let's use Jeff. (Though this would be a bad example- his rabid/ mentally retarded fangirls would probably tone down the chaos a bit. just a bit...) Say he decides on a whim to terrorize a college dormitory. (like mine, for example. we've got quite a few parties going on here at the moment.) He shows up, screws around, makes a few corpses, and causes general mayhem, which would only increase his strength and power. He'd be getting high not only off of the rush of killing people, but the rush of power that it subsequently caused.

Jeff loved doing that. Though college dorms weren't really his place to hang out. 

Yes, thank you Dementia for giving us that little tidbit.

Speaking of 'Pastas...

That guy was back. And he looked an awful lot like Jeff. I swear it's him. 

It's not Jeff, Dementia. don't get your hopes up.

but what if it is...?

Then I'm screwed even if I do start to sleep with my favorite Desert Eagle underneath my pillow, safety off and magazine fully loaded with bullets. and a baseball bat to boot. My dormmate doesn't really enjoy the fact that I'm so paranoid, but since she usually stumbles back here either drunk or with a hangover, she's never much in a mood to complain.

Oh, that brings me to theory #2-

They can't fucking die.

Yes, I uncensored that for a reason. I've got a sailor's tongue, but that cuss seemed necessary.

Basically, if they're drawing their very power from our entropy levels, then they can't die. because we as a species (and the earth as a complete system) are usually in complete turmoil, always looking for something to blow each other up over or revolt over. As it is, that energy sustains them, and keeps them going. it also explains why almost nothing seems to work against Slendy- he's got nothing to fear from us, because he can't die. He's just a little camera shy, and must have a thing against being caught in the act. or maybe that's an act, to spread around the Operator symbol, something that immediately brings him to mind and spreads belief in him.
as I can attest to. someone decided it would be funny to decorate one of the campus corridors with the Operator Symbol after seeing it underneath my dormroom window. It wasn't against the rules- we'd been decorating the campus for Halloween, but still... I freaked.

A few others freaked out worse than she did. I think they're Runners.

How many times must I tell you Dementia... these theories are for creatures that don't even exist! You lot don't exist! Jeff doesn't exist! Slendy doesn't exist!

You've got a lot to learn about the universe you live in, Mother. 

don't call me that! it makes me feel old.

mother...

f**k you. 

HOLY S**T

I saw someone outside my window.
He looked like Jeffrey.
It probably wasn't Jeff the Killer. just some drunk who thought it would be funny to dress up as him and terrorize the poor girl with the operator symbol underneath her window. 
It was definitely Jeffrey. 
you're going to be very disappointed, Dementia. 
COME AND GET ME JEFFREY! 
*facepalm*
It's not Jeff. Jeff doesn't exist. 
You're in for a shocker, mother. 
F**k off, Dementia. 
Never. This is too much fun. It's been a while since I beat up Jeffrey. I wonder where Jack is. 
Jack isn't here! Jeff isn't here! They're fictional! Just like the Slender Man! 
But you believe in Ghosts, and Souls-
There's a very scientific explanation for their existence. but Creepypastas and Entities/Fears? what are you going to say next, that fairy princesses exist too?   
... point taken. but still! just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean they don't exist!
Yes it does. Physics and Science explain every single phenomenon that goes on in the world. but they do not allow for Fears and Creepypastas. it's just not possible.      

Where was I... oh yeah, my next lesson. 
I've covered the Afterlife, in a way. 
according to S, Atheists have a higher chance of becoming Ghosts, since they reject the possibility of something after this life, outside of this universe. How... charming. 
well, there are a few upsides to being a Ghost. for one thing, you can watch people shower, and they won't even realize you're there. for another, you can't die again. 
but it seems to be awfully lonely. and I kind of like being around people- people I can talk to, that is.  
Most people seem to move onto these other Universes (Heaven and Hell, aparrantly) and don't really come back unless they want to. 
if what S says is true, however, that means that our universe is constantly losing energy, from the deaths of people (and other sentient beings- it's a big f**king universe, people). Which defeats the theory that our universe is a semi-isolated system. 
but do you know what that means? our entropy levels won't continue to increase. because in an isolated system, the chaos factor increases over time, whereas in non-isolated systems, it stays relatively constant.  
But that would mean... 
That's a separate theory for a separate universe that only exists in my head and in the minds of those whom I've lectured. a 'headcanon' if you please. For the Creepypastas, and to a certain extent the Fears/Entities (I've heard them called either one).  
I might post that one next, if I feel the need. you few people aren't here to be lectured on something that you may not even know that much about, but I feel the sudden urge to get it out. 
Compulsion. you're being stalked by the Skinny White Douchebag. Only natural.
...Charming nickname for him, Dementia.