Oh, and it's from Jeff's POV. Because for some reason, I think I can insert myself into the mind of a Creepypasta/ Serial Killer with no ill effects.)
I watched her slip out the window, a shadow in a world of
shadows. It was clear that she had done this a thousand times, from the way she
fell on her feet lightly without a single wobble to the way she started off
immediately in one direction, no doubt in her posture or movements. She was
dressed in all black, which made it slightly difficult to track her as she
wandered down the dark street and ducked into a pitch-black alleyway. Well,
pitch black for anyone but a Creepypasta, but that was because we were the
denizens of the night. The darkness was our home, our shelter. It welcomed us
with the warmth of a mother greeting her child. I moved within the shadows,
allowing them to embrace me in a way that no human would ever know. No human,
it seemed, but her. The shadows welcomed her eagerly, and I could almost feel
their bloodlust. She was up to no good- but then again, none who embraced the
night so eagerly were ever up to something good, unless you lived in Gotham
City and knew the Batman.
Thinking of the comics I used to love as a kid brought back
memories. Play out front in the street with my brother, Liu- he would be
Batman, I would be the Joker. Sometimes the girl next door would join in as
Catwoman. We all loved the comics; it made playing that much more fun. Though,
now that I thought about it, I often got carried away. Even as a little kid,
I’d had a sadistic streak. Nowadays, though, it assimilated itself as the feeling- an unbeatable urge to rip
someones throat out and bathe in their blood. The high I got from killing was
unrivaled by any drug, alcohol included. It was a rush that I couldn’t get
enough of. But this girl… while I’d had the original intention of killing her,
her behavior fascinated me. I was curious- what would a teenage girl from an
orphanage be doing out and about at eleven at night, wandering down streets in
dark but somewhat revealing clothes?
She was pretty in a plain way- pale skin, almost as pale as
mine, which had evidently been kissed by more moonlight than sunlight. Her hair
was long, dark, and thick, tied back in a braid that ended just below her
shoulder blades. Even though she wore fingerless gloves, I could tell that her
hands were calloused- evidently, she did a lot of manual labor. She walked with
purpose, in a way that made the few men out and about stop and stare. She
wasn’t physically pretty, no- but her very presence was powerful. This was a
girl who knew who she was, a strutting peacock flaring its feathers. I couldn’t
keep my eyes off her.
One of the men, a tall but rather round one who had been
staggering out of a bar with a group of what seemed to be his friends, noticed
her walking by and, with an eagerness rivaled only by me, broke away from his
protesting buddies and followed her as she turned the corner into a dark,
dead-end alley.
“Hey, li’l la’y, wha’ ya doin’ in a pla’ li’ thi’…” He
slurred. She turned to face him, and that’s when I caught her eyes- a dark,
bottomless blue, a kind of blue one would usually find in a pair of colored
contacts. But she was an orphan- there was no way she’d be able to get her
hands on some colored contacts…
Her eyes triggered another memory- I used to have those
eyes. Big, blue eyes that had girls falling over me in middle school. ‘They
like blue eyes. You’re lucky- my eyes are the color of mud.’ Liu would often
tell me. I didn’t see it; but it didn’t matter anymore. My eyes were as black
as the shadows that I lived in, a void that swallowed everything they scanned.
The whites of my eyes had long gone red with irritation, and even now the
burning from exposure was only just bearable.
The drunkard moved closer, and suddenly there was a shift in
the way the girl stood- she became a little less proud, her back slumping
slightly and her legs bending at the knees, classic signs of fright and
submission. The man instinctively saw it, and lunged, his hand reaching for her
breasts-
But, quick as a flash, the girl raised her own hand,
parrying him away, and used his momentum to swing him past her, into a pile of
filthy trash cans.
“Rape is not acceptable in any situation. I should kill you
for trying to touch me.” She said, speaking for the first time. Her voice was
harsh and filled with unwavering cruelty. Her eyes flashed with violence. The
drunkard picked himself up out of the heap of crap and gave her a similar look,
before charging again. This time, she let him overtake her, and he fell onto
her and immediately, clumsily set to work taking off her clothes. She did
nothing save reach into her front pocket and drew out a knife; and as he set to
work massaging her breasts, she held it to his throat.
“You know, I was thinking of letting you live. But seeing as
you’re not going to stop, not going to listen to the voice of reason screaming
in your head to stop, I think I’ll have to kill you.” And in one movement, her
knife sunk into the side of his neck, penetrating his Jugular between his spine
and his windpipe. It was evident from the way he froze and the way he started
gargling on his own blood that she had managed to hit all three vital points,
with one stab. Grunting with the effort, she pulled out her knife and was instantly
coated in the blood that sprayed from his neck. She waited, patiently, becoming
more and more drenched in the mans blood as he took forever to die. When he did
stop breathing, she wiggled out from underneath him and, with a strength that
no teenage girl should have, effortlessly picked him up and unceremoniously
dumped him in a trashcan.
His friends came running around the corner just as she
finished cleaning up and immediately noticed that a) she was covered in blood,
and b) their friend was nowhere to be seen. Putting two and two together was
not difficult for them. “What the fuck did you do to Bill?” One of them
demanded.
The girl looked at them with a bored expression. “I put the
trash out. I’m surprised you didn’t ever correct this sort of disgusting
behavior. Actually… I’m not. I’m sure you also participated- after all, you are
all disgusting males with no sense of self-control.”
Two of the three advanced in anger. The third, who was obviously both the scared one and the sane one, got out his phone and dialed 911. “Get me the police- my friend’s just been murdered by a psycho girl!”
Two of the three advanced in anger. The third, who was obviously both the scared one and the sane one, got out his phone and dialed 911. “Get me the police- my friend’s just been murdered by a psycho girl!”
The girl, meanwhile, put away her knife and charged towards
one of the alleyway walls, effortlessly running up it and gripping at the
bottom rung of the fire escape. She wasted no time pulling herself up the
ladder while the two men worked as a team to follow her, one lifting the other
up to catch the ladder. The one that was up turned to pull his buddy up, but he
shook his head. “I’ll slow you down- look, she’s getting away! You’re wasting
time- I’ll give the police a description.” Satisfied, the more agile one set
off after the girl, who had managed to get to the roof. I followed. I was an
observer, not an accomplice- I wanted to see what she would do in the event of
being chased by the police.
I was impressed, initially, by her endurance- obviously she
wasn’t one of those girls who just sat behind a computer all day and did
nothing in the way of athletics. This girl leaped from roof to
roof, hopping over obstacles or using them to her advantage. There was little
doubt that she lost the man in the first few minutes of the chase, after she
got on top of a door that admitted people onto the roof and used the height to
get herself to the lower but farther roof across from her. Without the height,
I doubt she would have made it; thing was, she landed crooked, and I heard her
cry out in pain as her ankle contorted gruesomely. It was broken, without a
doubt. Her pursuer didn’t notice that she was on the other roof; the wall that
would have protected idiots on the roof from simply walking off the edge hid
her from view as she crouched low and tried to twist her ankle back into place,
biting on her bottom lip so hard it drew blood as she tried to keep from
screaming.
I perched myself nearby, on the wall, and watched. The two
of them didn’t see me, since the shadows clung to my form and made me just
another part of the night. In short, if I didn’t want them to see me, they
didn’t. It was as simple as that.
I fully expected her to get up and get moving the moment she
knew her pursuer had lost her. I didn’t expect a… colleague… to intervene.
As usual, his entrance leaned towards dramatic- the mist,
the sudden drop in the temperature, the shadows growing. And then he appeared.
Tall, thin, wearing that stupid suit of his.
Slendy.
What? I’ve got no respect for the guy. He possesses mundanes
and uses them to do his dirty work.
That’s what a coward does. And besides, he’s on the opposite side of the war.
He and Zalgo had been fighting it out for ages, Zalgo with real ‘Pastas and
Slendy with his Proxies.
Wait… proxies…
This girl was a fucking Proxy?!
Slendy knelt next to her, causing her to scoot away and
shoot him a dirty look.
“Oh, now you come. I was wondering if you had forgotten
about me. Though it would make sense you wouldn’t give me further instructions
until my mission was complete.” She hissed. Slendy, as usual, didn’t reply,
instead wrapping a hand around her foot. She briefly cried out, but when he
removed his hand the foot was back in place, with no sign that it had ever been
twisted.
“What are my orders?” She asked. A tentacle grew from his
back and touched her forehead. Her eyes glazed over, her face contorting in a
frown. Then the moment was over; the tentacle briefly brushed a loose hair out
of her face before retracting into his back.
“I don’t understand.
The power, the self-control… why did you give me this? Why me?” She asked as he
turned to leave. He paused, momentarily, before turning around to face her and
touching her forehead with another tentacle.
“That’s not an answer. But if you insist on being vague, I
suppose I cannot argue. I am a tool, after all- nothing more.” She did not say
this with resignation, but with a power, a bite
that would have made most mortal men recoil. This dog, it seemed, was on a
very thick leash, and for good reason. Her eyes burned with a fire that drew me
as a moth would be drawn to a flame. Who was
this girl, a girl who could have such an attitude with a creature that many
worshipped as a god, and for good
reason?
The tentacle retracted. Slendy made no move to hurt her for
her insolence. Instead he retreated into the fog, disappearing.
“Asshole.” She muttered, before looking straight at me.
“I can see you.”
That simple sentence nearly made me fall off the wall. And
that would have been a very long way down. Not to mention Jack would have
cracked jokes about it for ages if he caught wind of it.
“N…no you can’t… that’s impossible…” I stuttered, stunned.
“Apparently the impossible happens on a daily basis. If
you’re not going to kill me, would you at least stop stalking me?” She got up
from her hiding spot just as I caught the sound of police sirens.
“No can do, dollface. You’re interesting, for a Proxy.” I
admitted with a smirk. She rolled her eyes.
“It’s Rosa. Now piss off.”
That made me mad. “Do you want me to fucking end you?”
“Go ahead. I’ve beaten a few Pastas. They were mostly minor
ones, though. I don’t think I’d be able to win a fight with Jeff the Killer.
You’d be too strong.” She started for the wall, analyzing the alleyway that
laid below it, before hopping over it. With the grace and skill of a gymnast,
she managed to hop on the windowsills and land safely. I simply fell, not
wanting any theatrics. Falling like this wouldn’t hurt me- very little in the
way of simple physics could hurt me. Unless it was a ‘Pasta using those physics
against me. Then I’d be screwed.
I landed in a roll and took off after her. She hadn’t wasted
any time to sprint off, in an effort to get away from me. As the cop cars
turned the street corner, however, she ducked into another alleyway, which fed
onto another street.
Thing was, she wasn’t headed back to the orphanage. She was
heading away from it.
“Where the hell are you going? You don’t wander when the big
players are out and about, you know! Not all of them are as generous as I am,
you know!” I called after her. She didn’t listen; there were more men on this
street, so she once again threw up the ‘I’m the best bitch in town and I know
it’ façade. Which was starting to piss me off more than intrigue me. All eyes
turned to face her- men in lust and interest, women in jealousy. It was
surprising that someone so plain could hold so much attention.
(So yeah, comment if you want to. I'm interested in what you guys have to say.)
Not bad. Few minor nitpicks, though.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't really fit that someone would be standing out (the best bitch in town thing) when a proxy. Seems more likely that the thing that would stand out is being in the background. Guess that's a thematic thing, so feel free to ignore.
Also, some of the dialogue seemed a bit off to me. Like, the line 'I’m sure you also participated- after all, you are all disgusting males with no sense of self-control' doesn't seem like it would be worded like that. I'm sure Sanna will come and actually know what she's talking about, that's just my 2cp.
It depends what she intends to convey. The word "males" and text between implies we're dealing with a character who is both highly misandristic and misogynistic.
ReplyDeleteAugh crap, that was meant to be a reply to Lovett.
DeleteYeah, nothing against what was being conveyed, but I'm not sure if someone would actually speak like that. Like, using the word males instead of men, and that also seems a bit extraneous to me.
DeleteAnd now I'm feeling like an overly critical dick. Like I said before, the rest of it is pretty good, just a couple little niggles.
I forgot to mention earlier, but now that it's come to my attention- while Rosa can swing between misandristic and being perfectly fine with men, I always thought of Jeff as a misogynist- though it doesn't really show here.
DeleteFirst off, you guys are awesome. I really needed someone to start nitpicking.
ReplyDeleteOn to business-
Rosa was just sexually assaulted. granted, she let it happen- but she tends to have mood swings. after being fondled by a man (and killing him) she'd be very mean towards anyone who reminded her of him. In a way, she can swing from tolerating men to extremely misandristic- depending on her most recent experiences with people around her.
I'll get to work on fixing the vocabulary (thank you so much for pointing it out). I might get the courage to post the rest of the chapter, once I make similar changes to it.
"granted, she let it happen"
DeleteBe careful here. Sexual assault is a sensitive issue. The only person responsible for sexual assault is the perpetrator. Never the victim.
Otherwise, I like what you have written. You have an aptitude for setting and that means a great deal in a story, many writers (myself included) neglect it but you have made a nice reflection on tone and character with yours.
Oh, I need to clarify. If Rosa hadn't wanted that man to touch her, he wouldn't have touched her. She was deliberately targeting him. I know it doesn't seem that way without my clarification, but just look at how easily she killed him and got rid of him. She's strong, she's fast, and she's smart- and he's slow, drunk, and simply uses his momentum to pick up speed- which she uses against him.
DeleteI'll say it again- if she didn't want him to touch her, he would have lost interest VERY fast.